“I Can’t Hear You… You Are Not Listening.”

Natasha:  Viktor, where are the keys to the Zyl? I must drive to the auditorium.

Viktor:  How do you know that there are fleas in the emporium on the hill?

Natasha:  Don’t you ever listen to what I say? I said, where are the keys to the Zyl?

Viktor:  Every day I tell you. I could understand what you say if you didn't mumble when you talk! (Thinking to himself, I wonder if Natasha is getting into the Stolichnaya again?) Now, what did you say?

Natasha:  I said, where are the . . . .  Oh, forget it, I’ll take the Metro instead!!

Viktor:  Shades of Rasputin woman, of course I know that Zhivago is dead!!

Natasha:  (Expletives deleted!) Don’t wait up for me, I’ll be late!!

Viktor:  Weight of what crate?

Natasha:  Slam!! (Out the door)

For many people this dialogue would be humorous, ridiculous, or boring. To a husband or wife who has a spouse with a high-frequency hearing loss associated with a history of being exposed to loud noises for many years, the Natasha/Viktor story is neither humorous, ridiculous, or boring … it is realistic! Whether at work or at home, most people are acquainted with situations similar, in some way, with the one presented.

If the Viktor/Natasha “encounter” is familiar to you, it is quite possible that your spouse (not to mention employer, friend, business partner, etc.) has some form of hearing loss. (Usually this is a high-frequency loss, and thus the reason why a male has extreme difficulty understanding the female - relatively high frequency – voice when she speaks.) Rather than create (or prolong) an auditory “cold-war,” it is important that you make a strong effort to understand why your spouse cannot understand certain of your communications, and hopefully prevent (or stop) an incident.

Although a state of decreased hearing usually arises when one has an infection in the middle ear (or even a simple “cold”), this is not a problem being discussed. What is being brought to your attention is the hearing loss that is associated with many years of exposure to diesel submarine engines, aircraft engines, rifle/pistol/gun-fire, metal lathes, air compressors, and dozens of other forms of noise exposure or “acoustic-trauma”. Every day hearing loss is being noted in teen-agers and the only form of (with all due respect to the musicians involved) noise exposure they have is loud rock music!

Research has proven that long-term exposure to noise greater than 85 decibels (a whisper is 20 decibels and a jet engine is 140 decibels) leads to permanent, irreversible hearing loss in the high frequencies. (A bass singer as Johnny Cash would be low frequency and a soprano as Julie Andrews would be high frequency.) Because of the specific anatomy of the inner ear, where sounds are transformed into signals and relayed to the hearing area of the brain, loud noises basically damage the area where high frequency sound is heard. Thus, loud noises or “acoustic trauma” lead to a high frequency hearing loss.

It is generally the female (high frequency) voice that is not clearly understood and usually it is the male with a long history of exposure to “acoustic trauma” who has difficulty understanding the female voice.

Here are a few guidelines to follow if you are living with someone who has this type of hearing loss (in fact, any kind of hearing loss). First and foremost, never expect full comprehension of your message if you are “calling” from the basement or three rooms away. The person will not be able to understand you and, usually when he does not answer he is not ignoring you! Second, if you speak just slightly louder, slower, and clearer, the hearing impaired person will understand much more of what you say. Third (and probably first in importance) be patient and understanding and do not let your anger get involved, for anger in itself leads to poor communication.

Make an appointment with your friendly otolaryngologist (ear, nose, and throat doctor) and they will discuss with you and your spouse the ramifications of hearing loss and what, if anything, can be accomplished to assist those involved.